The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
