How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
