At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
