Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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