I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
