first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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