There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
