she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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