Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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