smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
