Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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