Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
