Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
