Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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