i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
