maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
