in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
