I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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