these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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