handjob tips. give me some.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
