Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
