He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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