I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
