She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
