i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
