I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
