there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
