2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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