If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
