Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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