I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
