i may or may not be watching the land before time
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
