I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
