saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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