we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
