just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
time to smoke my breakfast
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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