Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
