I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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