I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
