I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
