So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want nice things and good sex
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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