3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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