O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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