I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
