Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
