Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
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