I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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