i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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