then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize