1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
